We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you a party political broadcast on behalf of the Potato Party (a.k.a. "Páirtí na bPrátaí").
Now, before you start, I know what you’re thinking. Potatoes seem an odd basis for a political party, right?
Be that as it may, a surprising number of people who expressed a preference when polled, said that they would much rather vote for a sack of potatoes than vote for the current government (or, for that matter, much of the opposition). While this may reflect, less a faith in spuds than a rampant disillusionment borne of cack-handed economic management, we’ll have you know that we in the Potato Party are fully prepared to step up to (and even on to) the political plate.
In offering a real alternative in this forthcoming national election, we need hardly remind you that, as the most widely cultivated vegetable in the world, potatoes have huge international reach and global standing, despite their famously humble demeanour.
At the heart of our election policy is our five point potato plan – viz.
1. Peel 2. Boil 3. Mash 4. Season 5. Eat. For us, this encapsulates exactly what is needed to get this country back on its feet – namely Irish food, and lots of it. Our message to you, the people, is simply thus:
Let’s Get This Country Eating
The truth is that Irish food can play a big part in our economic salvation (and, as the vegetable of choice in Ireland, we feel that spuds are ideally positioned to act as ambassadors for Irish edibles). We know that money spent on locally produced food can boost local economies, and with food exports up, a renewal of interest in traditional Irish food culture and quality producers bucking the general economic trend, Irish food is a good news story (and, let’s be honest, how many of those have you heard lately?). The fact that potatoes are “in” this year, can only help with our role in spearheading the cause of Irish eats.
Moreover, we promise not to pull any fast ones, unlike our soon to be ex-minister for Agriculture, who, in the dying days of government last week, changed Ireland’s EU voting position to support proposals to allow the marketing of genetically modified food, surely a retrograde step when it comes to the image of Irish food abroad.
So what are you waiting for?
Get out there and vote with your forks, today and every day, and give the Irish food around you your no. 1.