This is not how you eat in polite company. The slightly syrupy and uber-tasty liquid from the courgette and onion pickle is running all over my hand, which, in turn, is held very close to my mouth because of the imminent danger of my overloaded cracker disintegrating before it ever gets to the mastication stage. The rapidly fracturing components of my lunch are finally, and unceremoniously, shovelled into my awaiting gob and all that remains is a slobbery mess on the plate and a big smile on my sticky face…

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